My children were off school on Good Friday, so my oldest son had a friend sleep over on Holy Thursday, knowing that said friend would have to go to Holy Thursday mass with us. This friend is not Catholic, so Holy Thursday mass and Good Friday service were probably a kind of rough introduction to the church. 

For Holy Thursday, I had volunteered to do two hours of adoration after mass. My two hours were non-consecutive, so I let the kids sit in the car for the first hour immediately following mass. Then I took them to get food and took them home, before coming back to the church for my second hour of adoration. I wasn’t sure what to expect with adoration. Sitting in silence is not my strong suit. I never really experience silence. Since I was a child, I would talk to myself when there was silence. Now, I have so many kids there is never silence in my house. 

The chapel was freezing, but there were fresh flowers in there that smelled wonderful (I’m told they were keeping it cold to preserve the flowers). I prayed to myself some and prayed the Hail Mary several times, but for a lot of it I was just trying to focus on breathing and clearing my head. I hadn’t been sleeping good and my second hour of adoration was from 9:00pm to 10:00pm. I did doze off some, but never for very long. That night I slept great though. All that meditation seemed to help clear my mind so that I was able to sleep. 

I had Court on Good Friday, but had closed the office, so I just did my hearings and then came home. My daughter had therapy, so I gathered up the boys and we got food while she was in therapy and then we went to a different parish for Good Friday service because they had a service at 3:00pm. My church had the service at 6:00pm, but my son had soccer practice from 5:30pm to 6:30pm so that wasn’t going to work. 

I really enjoy Good Friday service. It seems very humbling, but trying to get my younger sons to act like decent humans was difficult and a tad frustrating. So, we ducked out early after the veneration of the cross. I’m sure the veneration of the cross seemed very odd to my son’s friend. I offered to take him home before we went to the service, but he said he didn’t want to be alone. I think my children fantasize about alone time, but as an only child it must get old being alone. My sons friend got to see the washing of the feet, and the veneration of the cross, both with foreign-born priests leading. I’m sure that seemed very strange to him, but he didn’t complain and I did give him an out, which he refused. 

My mother and I were going to Easter Vigil on Saturday. My daughter had agreed to go, but changed her mind. I don’t make all the kids go because I’m selfish and want to enjoy mass and I’m sure I wouldn’t enjoy it if I was trying to make the little boys sit still for two hours. Before that though, we had two soccer games and an Easter celebration with my mother’s family in between the soccer games. The celebration was easier to get through than I thought. My mother’s sister came down to stay with her for Easter, which I thought was really nice. I tried to just not let myself focus on the fact that my father wasn’t there. The only time it really hit me, was when I went to my uncle’s basement where my husband and kids were hiding out. My father would usually hide out with them, but instead it was just my family down there. It was a nice time visiting with family, but then we had to rush off again because my daughter had a soccer game that afternoon. 

My in-laws met us to watch both soccer games. That was really nice. My son’s team did not do great, and my son is not very good. My daughter is pretty good though and her team tied, but they played well. I enjoy watching her games, but my son’s games are admittedly less-entertaining. 

Easter Vigil started at 7:30pm. My mother met me at church. It was a lovely service. I wore the veil I had forgot to wear for my father’s funeral. I was fiddling with it a lot though. In the future I will use a clip when I veil. I’m not going to veil every mass, but I think I will start doing it sometimes on special occasions. 

Even though this was the first Triduum without my father, I enjoyed the experience. It was excellent to have that opportunity to re-connect with my faith. After Easter Vigil service, I had to go to Walmart to get Easter basket stuff for my kids because, like most attorneys, I am a professional procrastinator. I wore this medieval-style dress for Easter Vigil (one of the ones I had ordered for my father’s funeral that did not arrive in time) and I figured I would look like a crazy person wearing that around Walmart, but no one gave me any crazy looks or said anything and one of the employees told me she loved my dress. 

I got home about 11:00pm and got up at 4:00am to put together the Easter baskets I had bought for the kids. Since I went to Easter Vigil Saturday night, we didn’t go to mass Sunday morning, but we did go to church for an Easter Egg hunt. Then we took new flowers to my father’s grave. I am trying to start going to the cemetery every Sunday to bring new fresh flowers. 

That evening we went to celebrate Seder with some of our Jewish friends. That was fun. They were kind and didn’t make me drink four full glasses of wine (that would be a lot for me who doesn’t drink very often anymore). I was grateful to have the opportunity to experience that. My daughter decided to stay the night at their house afterwards. My oldest son was sleeping over at a different friend’s house, so these friends agreed to let my middle son spend Monday with them since the kids were off school that day as well.

I made a playlist of songs that are in my father’s slideshow and have added the songs from his funeral mass as well. That playlist started autoplaying when we got in the car Monday morning. I had a trial and was needing to prepare with co-counsel beforehand, so we left early. When my middle son heard “Perfect” my Ed Sheeran he started sobbing. I told him it was ok and that I still cry about Grandpa a lot. I dropped him off and then cried a lot on my way to meet up with co-counsel before our trial. 

As fate would have it, my trial was an abuse and neglect case involving alleged sexual abuse by a father. Super uplifting stuff for a day I was already feeling emotional. My lawyer sense turned on though and I stayed emotionless while an alleged victim was sobbing on the stand. I did comment to the other attorneys (there are 5 attorneys on that case) afterwards how awful it feels to make witnesses cry like that while all of us are just staring at her emotionless. 

Because my middle son had a rough start to the morning, I went on a walk with him during my daughter’s soccer practice and took him out to eat afterwards. He told me, “all Ed Sheeran songs make me think of Grandpa, but ‘Perfect’ is the only one that makes me cry because that was the only newer song I knew in Grandpa’s slideshow.” I told him that was probably also the song that was playing with the pictures of him and grandpa started to show up.